How is that even fair? They don't know what it is like to be in pain everywhere to the point where it hurts to paint with a paintbrush that weighs nothing and your muscles feel so weak that that paintbrush feels like its 50 lbs... they don't understand what it's like when I'm sitting there and I feel extreme jolts of electricity shocking my tendons.. how could they? And how can I expect them to empathize when this is something so far beyond anyone who has not been diagnosed with a chronic illness.
Bless their hearts for trying.
" It's not fair, you are strong, just stay strong"
no it's not fair. but it could be worse.
yes I AM strong. staying strong is the hard part.. but I will. My mom hasn't given up on our family's health and I wont either and I WILL get better for the sake of my life's quality.. so I can be a young adult for once and experience life the way I want to. And I WILL get better for my mom, I can tell she is so close to being fully recovered.. the light at the end of the tunnel.
Some days I think I am so close to that light, other days, I feel like it's pitch black and I am just L O S T in my own pity and pain. But I am still alive and my symptoms will come and go, and when they come I know that the medicine is working..
I WILL STAY STRONG.
I have always been strong but I didn't know how strong I would have to be for myself. This is a test and it makes me happy to see that I have made progress.
I am trying so many alternative options. I'm tired of all the medicine that make me so nauseous I don't even want to indulge in my favorite foods. And makes me so tired I could sleep for days. Every day is a battle.. and soon it will be easier and happier. But how blessed am I that I get to heal with the ocean there to take away my pain and make me forget, and the mountains to look upon and meditate on. I have so many people back home that love me and am finding so many people here I can depend on. It makes my heart smile.
