i dont know if i can stay here the rest of the year. this is so hard a decision to make. but to have my mother who is amazing enough to fly out here when i am so sick i can't make myself something to eat for a week and a half... is unfair. i dont know if i can heal with the stress of trying to keep up good grades in school, work and just try to be healthy is a lot to handle and just overall stressful. some days i want to lay on the couch and do nothing. recently its all i could do. i had a thunderclap migraine... which messed with my speech for a few days... so i ended up in the ER.. where the love of my life and my main foundation stayed with me for 10 hours.
they ran tests for an aneurism, ending with a spinal tap. ew.
it felt so odd, a foreign object digging in my spine, pulling fluids from it. " now you might experience a headache tomorrow, this is normal" thats all i got from the doctor and they booted me out the door, validated my ticket and thats that.
next day... worst headache i could possibly experience. it felt like my head was going to explode when i sat up , and id get the sweats if i tried to stand up to get water. okay, no school today, just rest. again.
next day, even worse. okay sleep.
a whole week of this, unable to sit up for even 5 minutes. how am i going to function? thats when mother came to the rescue.
i dont know what i'd do without my family and justin. they are truly my rock and everything that keeps me sane and keep me going. im slowly coming back to life thanks to their nurturing. just in time for halloween! i know what i'm going to be... but shh its a surprise! i dont think anyone will even know who i am... but thats almost more fun :)
No comments:
Post a Comment