Vulnerable

I was going to enter this contest where you had to tell your story of your struggle with an illness.. whatever it may be. But I struggled to figure out how to export the damn imovie.. well.. I had no idea that I actually had to. So needless to say, I missed the deadline, but still find it important to share because it is a big... final? step for me in this journey. And its always about spreading awareness as a way to start to give back to the Lyme Community... hey, its a start right?

So, please watch, and share it with others. Raise awareness.

Reflections part II

I think that being sick was the best thing that could have happened to me.

Since being better I have shocked myself with the strength and composure I've been able to show in situations that before I probably would have lost it. Not to give myself a pat on the back or gloat but honestly.. it feels damn good.

I AM PROUD OF MYSELF!

Not many people can say that... and I think I will be able to continue saying that through many situations in life. My outlook on life has blossomed and I am able to uphold that outlook no matter what life has thrown at me since healing. The little stuff just does not matter, and life is life and its a fight every day... but when you are healthy that fight does not feel so hard and its worth it. I am worth it. I am worth every effort I put into my life. What I give out I shall receive.

Reflections

I am sitting on my back porch right now.listening to Wonderful World by Iz and drinking my morning cup of joe. This song always takes me back to Hawaii, and as I prepare myself for Saturday I can't help but be filled with so much joy and sadness at the same time.

As unhappy as I was to come home, it was the best thing I could have done for myself. And I can honestly say that it was exactly what I needed to heal. I couldn't tell you why it was, because I always thought Hawaii was the place that could help me through anything, guess I was wrong. It's me, the power to heal myself is what it comes down to, but sometimes I have to change the surroundings and be around family to reset my mindset and decompress. If I didn't come home I wouldn't have been able to travel to Italy, Montana, down south to Decatur and see old friends, make new friends and have the confirmation for myself that Art Therapy truly is what I want to do with my life. I wouldn't have taken the leap off of the edge with my art and done 2 huge canvases in MY style if I were in school this past semester. There's a lot that wouldn't have happened had I stayed in Hawaii, and I don't know if I'd be where I am mentally and physically if I was there either.

My disease is UNDER CONTROL! I only have 3 months of treatment left, and I am feeling better than ever. I can only hope that this stays and I don't go backwards, but I've learned that living in fear of going backwards is no way to live. I always knew it in the back of my mind, but I wasn't doing anything about it. Now, I am back to my old self, adventurous again and willing to do whatever. I am not a hermit anymore, hiding in my room from the world because I don't feel good and want to just sleep it away. The worst is behind me.

I've always said that everything happens for a reason, and while I am not entirely sure what the reason is yet, I have a feeling there are more reasons than one and I will eventually see them when the time is right. God works in mysterious ways. But I can tell you that so far I've seen that it has shown me the power of myself, and the power that the mind has on the body and its ability to heal. I have learned that no matter what happens in life, it will always get better, no matter how awful it is. And most importantly has shown me yet again to live up each and every day and to not take anyone, or anything for granted. Life is such a beautiful gift and there is SO much out there to see and do, and I had to miss out on a lot when I was at my sickest. It has taught me the value of health. It has taught me the value of life. And it has taught me the value of joy. That saying that you don't know what you have until it's gone, 100% true in my situation. When I had to start saying no to social events, surfing, almost everything because my body was too weak I never realized how much of those little things really impact your life in a positive way. And I plan on making up for lost time with the island and the people there who I was not able to give as much as I wanted to because I was too sick.

I have learned a lot so far from having Lyme Disease, and I will continue to learn a lot from it I am sure. I want to give back, and I tried but it was too much, too heavy for me at the time. But I'll get there. This disease is scary and an epidemic, and people need support now more than ever, trust me I know. I've been there and I can relate to it, we lymies need to stick together. And even though there is no cure and I will have it for the rest of my life probably, with my body being in control again I feel like I can say i HAD lyme rather than HAVE it. I am a new me and I am so grateful for it. Thank you to all of you who stood by my through the tears, anger, frustration and all of the above. There are not enough thank yous out there to show my gratitude. I love you all and I will be eternally grateful to you.

cups cups cups

Life theme song of the moment: On The Road Again

Or travelin man by Bob Seger... in the past month it seems I have been on the road...go, go, go

"I see their faces, I feel a trace left on my soul, Those are the memories make me a wealthy soul"

This describes my current status in my life perfectly right now. I took the semester to come home and relax to heal and get better. For me, sitting around and sleeping for a few months was all I could handle. It was much needed, and guess what? It was enough to bring me to life again. I feel more alive than I have in a very long time. Sure, I am tireddd because I am jet lagged, a weekend of fun and friends and little sleep. But my soul feels more awake, my body is just a bit burnt out. So I'll take it easy this week and catch up on my painting and yoga. I think I came home so I could travel. I have been able to see so many friends I have not seen in a long time, meet their amazing friends and see some great places. I've been inspired by every place I've been and it will only continue.

This weekend was so amazing, two days after returning from Italy I got to go see my souls sista and her art show. My heart was filled with joy the whole time. I love being able to see her because no matter how much time has passed, we pick up where we left off. Her art has come so far since we first met and I am SOOO proud of her and I cannot stop saying that. She really is an inspiration to me whether she knows it or not. I look up to her and she is so positive and encouraging. We will be in each others lives forever. I went with her to her Art Therapy internship and that was all I needed to confirm what I want to do with my life. While I was there I couldnt help but think, I can't wait to do this for the rest of my life. Watching Kelsey work with this old hilarious group of people, gave me confidence that I can do it too. I think we could make a great partnership in the future and open our own art therapy studio. KELSEY WERE DOING IT!

I have been here and there, and it feels so great. As much as I love to be in my own bed once again.. I can't wait to get on the road again and have no idea what experiences will come of it. There is no telling who I will meet, what I will see and what I will experience. And that is what I've become addicted to. To me traveling is, in the moment, spontaneous, impulsive all of the above.

My mom doesn't get it, and is concerned I'm going to go backwards in my health. But personally I think that the soul aspect of my healing process is what needed the most work. Sickness brings forth such a dark cloud that so easily rips through your body and manifests in your soul. It needed a good cleaning and to be unnerved. I've gotten that and I think in order for the rest of my body to fully heal, the soul needed to wake up and say "okay lets do this". Together the mind, body and soul can defeat it all. Getting control of the mind was necessary for the body to start to heal itself, so i had to work on the layers of it all. Being away from family and my support system was hard as hell, and really affected the mind. But, now the soul is awake and it is booming with joy and excitement and I can't stop now. Maybe I am being a little bit too impulsive, but something tells me I'll know when too much is too much.

Can't wait to get on the road again.

I can speak Italian.. see? , Pizza, Cappuccino, Spaghetti

It all feels all surreal to me. I was in Italy for a week and a half, visited 5 different cities, 6 if you include the wine tasting in Montelcino. This is going to be a novel because I have so much to say, and I just cant leave anything out. So here we gooo...

Italy is a very different place, the mindset is different. Although I didn't spend enough time to fully immerse in the culture, I am certain of a couple things. Italians take much pride in: food, fashion, and wine. Everyone, and I mean everyone is so fashionable. My dad said it everywhere we went, but he was right. Everyone looks like they came out of a fashion ad. Scarves and boots are a must. Even the children are more fashionable than I am.

For the most part most Italians are so friendly. And they express so much emotion in the way they talk. I love the Italian language. Everything sounds better in Italian. It is such a musical language, and I'm determined to learn it one day. I started off In Lake Como, what a magical place! Its full of bicyclists and bikers. The mountains surround you and in the center, this lake the extends and wraps around for miles and miles. Interestingly enough, no one really was out on the lake, so the water was smooth and clear as glass. I wanted to dive in and go swim. Our last day there, we stumbled upon an old church up in the mountains. My dad really wanted to drive up to it. Surprise! There is no road, you must walk the whole way up, and we did. It took about 2 hours only and it was well worth it. GORGEOUS for lack of better words. The old church overlooked the lake and the mountains. We were the only 2 at the top and you could hear all the church bells echoing off the mountain walls. The sun was out and the air was crisp and cold. It was the perfect morning.

Everything is better in Italy I've decided. I ate like a queen, even though I could not have the pasta and bread that was offered at every meal, I ate so many different cheeses and meats. You could say I am a carnivore now.... The vegetables are so fresh, even down to the garnishes they put with the dish. The olive oil you pour on your grilled vegetables and cheese is so fresh that it is slightly green. On our way out of Lake Como, we stopped to eat lunch at this quaint restaurant. Such a memorable lunch! To start was vegetable soup, topped with fresh grated parmesan. Oh my word, it was so delicious. Who knew a simple soup could be so full of flavor? I swear I was in heaven. I ate veal with mushrooms, and these mushrooms were unlike any I've tasted in the states. So much flavor in every bite of that meal. We sat outside while the Italian sun kissed our skin, and our waiter served us wearing gold Ray Ban aviators. Smiling and watching all the people walk by, waiting so casually to clear our plates and refill our water. I had my first glass of REAL red wine at this restaurant and I've never been a fan of red wine until now. For dessert, it was so simple, yet so elegant. Strawberries with whip cream. The strawberries were bright red andy juicy and the cream was fresh and tasted home made. To top off the meal of course we ended with espresso. Never have I had such a brilliant tasting espresso. So smooth and strong, instantly you are awake. It doesn't give you an intense buzz like coffee here, but it gets you past that afternoon wall we all hit. The perfect start to the perfect trip.

I wish I could have had the internet more often to write about my experience, here are so many details I'm going to miss because there were too many to write about. But I'll do my best.

Next stop was Turin, which I did not get to tour because we were only there for a night and half a day for a meeting my dad had. But I did see a camel in the back of a work place. Interesting. After Turin we hopped in the car again and drove through the day to Florence.

Ah Firenze! Such a wonderful place, very big and very busy. My dad had work here as well, and that is where I met Pino! I love this man, he insisted on taking my father and I out to dinner 3 nights in a row, and the first night Fillipo, his son, came along and they showed us the city at night. They picked us up at our hotel and brought us to Gilli's. Gilli's is this beautiful old bar, where you can order one (or more) drink and then eat all you want. Many Italians will do this for their dinner, it is cheapest and what I would do if I lived there :) I tried a white wine, that was more potent than expected;) and then we walked across the bridge to this little hidden gem for dinner.

They had Gluten Free pasta! So I got the full picture. Pino ordered for us, ordering antipasto to begin with. Proscuitto (raw cured ham) and other raw bacon. I ate it against my better judgment, but it was actually delicious. Very salty as you could imagine. Not my first choice but I didn't come to Italy to not try new things. And for my first course was this pasta dish with meat sauce. So simple, no tomato in it, it was basically just meat cooked with olive oil and maybe some spice. The olive oil has so much flavor in Italy, I swear it's all you need to add more to a dish. I was in heaven, the best pasta I've ever had. You know that scene in Eat Pray Love where Julia Roberts is grinning ear to ear and finishes every bit of here pasta? That is not an exaggeration. As cliche as it may seem, the food really is better in Italy.We also had red wine with dinner, and Pino would not stop refilling my glass. That man loves his wine and loves everyone to drink it with him haha. The wine in Italy is so refined I want to say, it never leaves you with a headache or feeling hungover.

After 2 days of working in Florence papi and I got to explore the town. We really had no plan, we just wandered around the WHOLE town. I swear I have so many blisters because we walked so much haha. The most important things to see for me were Juliet's house, and to see The David along with the Birth of Venus. So when we stumbled upon the Academia Galleria, we hopped in line. I felt like I was about to meet a famous person, heart thumping and stomach all jittery. The first room held many paintings of the Renaissance period, artists I was unfamiliar with, but incredible to witness nonetheless. The next room held a long hallway with some paintings and many sculptures, and at the end was The David.... I could not focus on the other artworks in the hall, I b -lined it straight to the David. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. I had no idea the intensity of the piece, or the scale. I was in awe, and so giddy. I snapped a picture hiding behind a column so I wouldn't get yelled at for doing so. The David, so magnificent. Michelangelo was pure genius, a master at his craft. I still can't get over it and no picture ever did it justice.

Before leaving Florence, Pino and Fillipo came to our hotel to say farewelll and bring us two huge bottles of his own olive oil, "not for cooking" he says, but to put on meat, vegetables and salad. I can't wait to try it. And I will never forget Pino and his kindness and his passion for life. I loved talking with him and hearing his points of view on the world. Italians have such a different way of thinking, I like it... a lot.

After Florence was Siena. My dad really wanted to go there because he loves old things, the older the better. Siena is an old medieval town. It was quite beautiful, and quite obviously old. Each building had so much character and you could see the age in it. I love all of the color they use in Italy, and I love all of the laundry hanging out the side of the buildings which looks like decoration. Siena reminded me of Florence, but much smaller. Not as friendly a town, but that is okay. We really just walked around the whole town, and then went back to our hotel for a wine tour. We went to 2 wineries, the first a very modern way of making wine. It was so neat to see a winery and then to taste the wine they produce. Brunello is what is made in Montelcino,and made by only one particular grape. It was really quite good, but then we went to the second winery. It was over 100 years old, and Mario didn't speak a lick of English, and loved the ladies. I think he is the epitome of an Italian man. He explained how they made wine in the old days quite briefly, then he led us to the room where he had 3 glasses set and plates for each of us. Yes, he had three glasses, but we did not taste just three. I think we tasted about 6 wines haha. Smart man, get the tasters drunk, then hand out the order forms. But anyway, he also came out with shots of Grapa for everyone. Grapa gives me the chills. I passed on the shot, there was no way. It's like vodka, made from grapes, only stronger. Lastly he gave us shot glasses full of dessert wine. It was so delicious it tasted kind of like carmel, and was much thicker than wine. Needless to say, we took many bottles home with us. Good man, Mario.

That night after touring wineries and Montelcino, we packed up AGAIN and headed to Belogna for the night. We did not tour Belogna, just woke up and packed up and drove to Verona. Verona was a great choice, we got to see the second oldest colosseum. It is so old that they used to have jousting and gladiator fights. It was very erie to be there, you could almost feel the energy of the past. The fighters who died, the stands packed with royalty and peasants cheering for the fighter, either to win or die. It's an interesting culture back then. Verona is where Letters To Juliet was filmed. After going in circles, we found Juliet's house. It was packed with people, signing the wall and taking pictures of her balcony where she waited for Romeo. Yes, I wrote a letter to Juliet. They've changed it so that it is an electronic submission, I'm still waiting to hear from her. I love that story, and it was so fun to go and see where the story supposedly was based off of. Verona had the best shopping! I got a new outfit, its one of those outfits where you feel like a million bucks in.

After Verona, it was almost time to go home. We had one day to kill, and our hotel was near the airport, so what did we do? We found an Outlet mall in Milan, the fashion capital of Italy. I bought a new dress that is made in Italy. It is funky, edgy and fun, and I will be wearing it this weekend without a doubt. It also makes me feel like a million bucks. It's overwhelming looking at so many amazing clothes. I wanted everything, if only I had that kind of money.

I feel I didn't even get to talk about the million other things I saw in Italy, then again I may bore you to death if I do. But it was a trip I will never forget. I want to go back again, Italy is so big there is just not enough time to see it all. There were "Italian tourists" in Florence from the south of Italy. My dad is so amazing to have brought me along, I don't think there is ever a way to thank him enough or properly, but I will try. I am so blessed to be able to have these experiences I have had in my lifetime thus far. It was an adventure, and I know I will have many more. But Italy, I can now check off my list. It will be great to be home and sleep in my bed, but I can say that I will miss hopping from one town to the next. I was born to travel and explore.

feeling inspired

everyone who reads this.. even though its probably only like 8 people but if you happen to stumble upon this PLEASE help make a change in many lives and in the health world.

we have a right to health, but thats not the case. so SIGN this petition!!!!

http://www.change.org/petitions/lyme-disease-epidemic#?opt_new=f

get excited, get rowdy, get loud! stand up for something!!!

update

art.

phase one

phase two

phase three

Co-op de do op

reunited.

reconnect.

I went to visit one of my friends who I was once a camper with at the age of 16 and we have remained close from then on. The last time I saw Ruth was on the gorgeous island of Maui, where we paddled around in the baby waves of MSG's homebreak, guardrails. Ruth is going to Lawrence University in Appleton Wisconsin. And let me just say, I fell in love with this little town from the second I drove in. But then, when I walked into the Co-op where Ruth lives... forget it. The people that I met at this school were some of the most genuine, brilliant and unique people I have yet to come across. There was not one person who was unfriendly to me, and on top of that everyone is hilarious.In some ways, the environment I landed in reminded me of what the factory of Andy Warhol might have been like. Everyone is unique and different, and it's expected and embraced. There are no boundaries just open arms and good times. I was Ruth's date to their formal party which happened to be business themed. Wellll I wasn't really dressed right for it... but I was the new girl so it's okay.
We danced the night away, sang karaoke, had some tequila, and bonded over whatever came to mind. It was such a breath of fresh air I love meeting new people, and meeting such a great group of people just makes me want to travel and meet everyone and anyone. I met someone who is from Hawaii, and I worked at the same gym as his sister, met someone who shares a love for Rothbury and I will be seeing her at Summercamp in May. I met a girl whose sister goes to Naropa, the grad school of my dreams. I felt like I was supposed to meet these people, and I also secretly want to go to school there haha. The passion everyone shares for the arts no matter which area they study, the energy that each person holds, is simply beautiful. That is what I want to surround myself with... passion, creativity, love of life,and high energy! I want to live in a co-op!

Sometimes I feel so full of love it just comes spilling out...

This may be somewhat of a random ramble.. but bear with me. Usually I don't put much more on here than, thoughts, things I'm up to, updates on my health and life.. nothing extremely personal. But lately my mind has been on a role and putting it in my journal somehow doesn't feel right, and telling just one person doesn't either. So here goes. I am single. Yes, and it is hitting me.. hard right now. Relationships work, or they don't.. and thats that. I heard a quote somewhere, "sometimes you love and its not enough, and thats okay." It really is what relationships are about, not just dating but love between friends, strangers, passions... all of the above.. how can it not be? God made us, and everything around us with all the love he had, so love is everywhere. Maybe, too abstract but really love is in so many dynamics and when you are dating someone seriously, you have that person to trust, catch you and give almost all of your love to. Because in a way I think that is what we are programmed to do.. i mean really. when you start dating and you are in that honeymoon phase, all you want is to show that person how much you care, how much you want to be with them.. and then that usually turns to pure love.. it either continues forever.. or it just simply doesn't work out. You loved, you grew, you learned and you move on with life.

So where is this going? Hang in there.. I think I'm getting close.
But what do you do, when the sadness of losing a best friend and a lover resides. There is still that love inside waiting to give to another person..love is in a way endless to me. For me I'm learning that it doesn't have to be given to just one person. Right now I am kind of driving myself nuts because there is so much love bottled inside that I really want to just share it with everyone. It's kind of embarrassing so I hold back... but other times I can't contain myself and I just want to reach out and love love love. Because I love myself, I've learned to love myself, and I've loved others and I will continue to love others. But what I mean is more so that I want to just SPREAD love... and sometimes sure that spreading of love gets kind of confused with a different kind of love, from my perspective probably, but also theirs. I don't know I feel this burst of energy inside that is going to explode if I can't let it out on people here and there, and give some light to them. Its uncomfortable to some I'm sure, hell its uncomforable to me even. ha but im sorry I can't help myself. Love is all you need, and love is all i want to give and recieve. I'm not trying to sound all hippie here when I mean spread the love... but its that feeling inside when you just feel so much love, and if you don't have that special someone in your life to just give loads of it to, you hafta find ways to release it wherever the opportunity comes.

Silver Lining in the Sky

Had my doctors appointment in Winona today, and it went wonderfully! I knew it would though, I really have been feeling so much better. Like I really feel like a new me, not completely like my old self... but I didn't ever realize how good i COULD feel. I know it will only keep getting better, because my doctor would like me to stay home for the summer. I was a little bummed to hear that, but she thinks if I don't get a full 6 months of rest in, I wont ever fully recover or fully be in remission. So understandably I am okay with it, but I miss Hawaii and the ocean so much. My heart aches for it some days. When it's sunny here and blue skies, I don't miss it as much. But I long for the smell of the warm tropical air. Some great aspects of staying home though are that I will be able to enjoy some live music which I miss when I am in Hawaii. So soak it up, times with friends and family while I can. Once I am done with this hardcore treatment, I am off to the motherland again to finish my last year of undergraduate school! So I guess I can't really complain, and can only be grateful in this situation, I get to live in Hawaii for an extra year rather than a few months before starting grad school. Also I get to get 100% better before starting my journey towards Art Therapy and wherever that may take me.

projects in training

I am... starting yoga again.. it hurts haha and i shake in it because i am so weak.. but it feels sooo amazing and gives you more energy. i love it. and to be moving and stretching muscles i havn't stretched in so long feels better than i could have imagined. i cant wait to go again. I'm also doing physical therapy and im loving it. Getting some movement without overdoing it is changing so much. I feel so great! This is proving my decision to be the right one.. I get to sleep 12 hours a night which is need. Literally.
During this week I was waking up early... like 830.. and i was so tired the rest of the day and was useless. Today woke up at 12... went to bed at 12 too.. and I am like the energizer bunny! I'm ready to start my GIANT paintings. And finish my little sketch for my "art class". Real quick I need to tell you about this class... I thought it would help me keep u my skills.. which is does.. but....it has all 60+ year olds in it. I'm the only young one and we're drawing birds.. from pictures. haha it is adorable and so entertaining. But it is very relaxing to just sit and draw and converse with elders. I secretly love their praise about my drawing skills too haha. So it may not be a class where the subjects to draw/paint are of my liking... but hey any art class is okay with me right now. Plus I don't ever do detail works so its keeping me practicing my patience with that.

Okay so, my parents have "commissioned" me to paint two 6ft paintings for the living room to go side by side. No pressure. So really theyre not paying me... but they are buying the supplies to paint these bad boys. We were going to make an 8 by 8 painting... making the stretcher bars and everything, but the local art store doesn't have canvas that large.. so now my mom just wants me to paint two instead. I'm a little apprehensive but at the same time excited. She has not stopped talking about the artist Akira Iha that we saw in Paia. It was beautiful and I remember standing there just staring. It was so simple and meditative yet had so much to look at. So I will attempt to do some form of meditative paintings with the color schemes she has picked out. I still havn't unwrapped the canvases yet...

When I start them... I'll start taking pictures of them step by step, so i can learn from how i work and see where it went from when it began.

poems from the past

HI poems.

1.
RIghts of pasage
love and lace
look closely, is all the same
cut the cords
get lost in words
tearful fits ad lengthy bits
bearing fears in the twinkling sawdust
through hot beverages and burning spit
turn the fire again
wilting flowers
and piercing sheers
look down the road, never go back
its the hearts of men that break and bust


2.
Forget the sounds
Forget the noise
It's not that way anymore
You're what your heart set out to do
smells enhance the high
Don't try to come back down
A touch can't hurt keep standing on your feet
Running now through a smoky cloud
The eyes are clearest at the night
Good bye and good day now
Enjoy the long flight.

bucket list

I was just looking at an old journal... yeah i have about 7 of them?
ANYWAYS I was scrolling through pages laughing at some, reminiscing on the past years of high school and how silly I was and probably stillll am. But then I found my "Things I want to DO b4 I die" list. I looked through then to find i have done 6 of them already. How awesome is that?! I mean.... I am only 22 years young... if I can accomplish 6 things in 4 years since making this list....I sure as hell can finish it off and then some before I kick the bucket right? I'm sure I'll be adding to the list forever... but that makes it exciting. At least there will be something new to look forward to and experience right? To let you know the things I have accomplished in case you were wondering ( I know you were) they are *skydiving * Live in Hawaii *Meet Hanson (yeah I KNOW.. and he shook my hand and looked me in the eyes so HA) * take a dance class * do something for AIDS in Africa * see a shitload of concerts


so there we are.. 6 golden stars of accomplishments and many many more to add. As I was looking at the list I definitely came up with a few more that I wanted to do like, go to burning man, write a book and be in a movie because all of those sound so exciting! And off the top of my head... I want to run a marathon, bike across Europe, have my own art show in New York, and start a traveling art therapy group..kinda like a doctors without borders but with art therapist without borders. I want to do SOMETHING about Lyme Disease... spread the word.. help families struggling with it and be a support for those who have no one. Meet Bob Dylan, sing with a band at some point, live in Europe, live in Bali, travel across the US by train. So the list grows and so will I, and I will accomplish them all.. may take years and years for some.. but it just might take a couple for others. Good luck to me and my dreams :)

its the little things

i love..
surfing, the way it seems to sweep all the worries and thoughts off of you and takes it down into the deep abyss

my family and my soul mates that keep me going

rings! the bigger the better and a stone is a plus

music.. there is a song a sound a melody for every mood or feeling

dancing, the way you can get lost in a movement and your body takes over. your mind simply on the stands watching

bob dylan, his voice soothes me and his lyrics get me

running, whe your heart is beating your lungs are breathing harder than you thought possible and youre in the moment

forgetting about what is in the future and what i have to do, just living and soaking up the little moments in life that make us smile

watching movies.. and the same one 2 days in a row because i love it that much

when i forget that i am sick and am truly happy to be where i am in life

i love big dangly earings

nag champa is the scent that most relaxes me

i love a lot of things.. and dont often stop to realize i have them all in my life

. its the little things.