breathe

i got reiki healing done yesterday. it is so interesting and intense. i always feel 100 times lighter afterward and in a state of total relaxation. it always helps with my mood, it seems to break that foggy haze i sometimes run into and get stuck in. i am wide awake and its 11 30. this never happens and even though i know in the morning il b cursing myself for not going to bed earlier.. im also happy that im awake so late because usually im dragging... and barely functioning by 8.
she told me that i was given Lyme for a reason, to learn from. and that somethign great will come from it. what could the lesson be?

school has started. and i feel confident for once with the year. all my teachers are great and inspiring, each one has their own special qualities. i am taking french. woah! starting a new language when i only have a year and a half of undergrad left? i must be nuts! but i think it is such a unique language, i havn't gotten all the hauking and rolling of the rrrrrs yet. but ill get there. and most importantly i want to.. want to learn this language. odd its not japanese or hawaiian since i am in hawaii and im japanese.
one day ill end up in france or canada and use my mad french skills.

i am a little nervous about low fire ceramics. i had this problem last year. i always feel stuck. its really just fear. fear of pushing the envelope and doing things i'd never usually do. i want to be creative and i know i am.. i just dont unleash it. i need to unleash it and just go nuts!

i NEED to start yoga and meditating on a regular basis. i want to keep myself rooted and also keep myself seeking. clear the mind, and just be still. it seems ive only been going going going already. its only the 2nd week. just breathe.

i found a great doctor. i have high hopes for him that he will speed up my healing process. God does answer prayers.

My birthday is in 2 weeks. Yikes! 22... what an odd number. i am excited but at the same time not. i want to skydive! and i want to have a bonfire on the beach..celebrate all the september birthdays Jenn, Boone, Naomi and Mine all within days of echother.

I am not drinking anymore. Fully giving in to the healing process and not putting in anything that will disable that process.
I am also on a strict diet of nuts, beans, veggies and fruit. and quinoa. the only grain i can eat for 3 months.
let the journey of this crazy year begin.